<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The weight of the world (the sun in the sky) by Amazaria</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22962853">The weight of the world (the sun in the sky)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amazaria/pseuds/Amazaria'>Amazaria</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Piece</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accepting your responsibilities and other things to do when realizing your friends' mortality, Devotion, Gen, Luffy's such a good captain you guys, Post-Thriller Bark, Pre-Timeskip, Promises, The author's insistent feelings about Chopper being a doctor, The author's insistent feelings about Zoro&amp;Chopper's relationship, what the fuck is this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:07:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,394</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22962853</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amazaria/pseuds/Amazaria</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Zoro, you can't do that, because I'm going to be the best doctor ever, I have to be, but- but I'm not, not yet."<br/>Zoro raises an eyebrow, and stays silent for a moment. <br/>"You have to be?"<br/>"Yes." Nods Chopper, still so sure. "For our captain. For our crew. For my friends."</p><p>(or: in which Chopper has a request, Zoro doesn't exactly grant it, and Luffy's going to be Pirate King. A conversation about responsibilities.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Monkey D. Luffy &amp; Tony Tony Chopper, Roronoa Zoro &amp; Tony Tony Chopper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>210</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The weight of the world (the sun in the sky)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
<p></p><div><p>The atmosphere is quiet for a while, after Thriller Bark.</p></div></div><div>
  <p>Well- not<em> quiet, </em>no, not exactly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Certainly not in the literal sense, at least- the Strawhats are never quiet, as a rule, and now that they have a musician it's even truer.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>But- subdued, around Zoro at least. Sanji glares at him from afar and Robin stays a little too close; Usopp looks at him with something too close to guilt in his eyes and Nami has yet to stop charging him like it's the only thing making him stay.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Luffy's oblivious to it all, in a way that feels very much deliberate. He doesn't linger close, still pouts at him when his swordsman naps more than usual because of his wounds, is the first one to order him to be more mindful of his injuries. If he has something to say he seemingly hasn't found the right time yet, but Zoro knows his captain enough to know that if it's actually important he'll say it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sometimes he frowns at the others, when they tiptoe around Zoro; but Robin walks up to him and whispers that <em>it'll pass, captain, we're fine, </em>and he's back to his usual cheerful demeanor.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>And it does pass, eventually; eventually Sanji scoffs at him and stop withdrawing alcohol, eventually Robin quietly apologizes for keeping too close and lets her ever-vigilant eyes fade; eventually Usopp stop looking at him so nervously, eventually Nami starts yelling at him again like she's realized she's not going to chase him away by doing so.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Eventually, they're back to normal, as normal as they get at least, and Zoro doesn't let out a sigh of relief, just scoffs at them until Sanji yells at him for being a selfish idiot. But, it's fine, it's to be expected, it's falling back on a routine that he had faith wouldn't be gone forever, and Zoro yells right back at him, and Luffy smiles wide, wide, wide.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>And Chopper-</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Doesn't.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>(There's an urge, sometimes, in Zoro, to apologize to Chopper.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It doesn't make sense; if there's one person he should apologize to, it's Luffy, because he broke a promise, and an important one with that; or it's Kuina, because he broke their only and last promise without even thinking about it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>But Luffy doesn't know, and even if Kuina's long-dead he likes to think she understands. It's <em>his</em> life, after all, and some things are just too monumental to let slip away, like a doomed-from-the-start-duel or a worthy captain.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He wants to apologize to Chopper, because sometimes the doctor looks at him with grief already craved inside his eyes, because sometimes he stops yelling at Zoro to be careful and sighs with so much worry inside his voice it makes Luffy automatically bound over to comfort him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Chopper is their doctor, though, is <em>a </em>doctor, and Zoro will not underestimate him, will not apologize for causing him a pain the reindeer has accepted to bear a lifetime ago.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Chopper's their doctor, and Zoro will not apologize to him because he doesn't apologize to Nami when she doesn't sleep for a week trying to get them through storms, because he doesn't apologize to Sanji every time the cook looks at the pantry and gauges how long they can live off it. Because he didn't apologize to Luffy when he cast Usopp out, because he didn't apologize to Usopp when he shot the World Government flag, hands steady and so deeply terrified.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They all bear a different weight, and they've all chosen to bear it, and Zoro will not do them the disrespect of insinuating they cannot. He refuses.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>But-</p>
</div><div>
  <p>But he wishes he could apologize and ease the weight off of Chopper's shoulders, who keeps close to the infirmary and frowns at fully stocked shelves; who looks at their scars and sees all the ways he's failed them, instead of the time he saved them.)</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Chopper frowns, and reaches out towards Zoro like he wants to say something but the words aren't quite there; and he withdraws quietly, quietly, until he's by Franky's side, not quite hiding, pretending the strange kind of fear that's been lingering in his eyes doesn't exist; and then he disappears in the sickbay before the fight between Sanji and Zoro is broken up.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>And the days pass like that.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Until-</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>oOo</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You can't do that again, Zoro," whispers Chopper one night, his eyes full of tears, his hands ever-so-steady; and Zoro looks at him, and is at a loss for words.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The night is calm, and silent; they're on the deck, Zoro standing by the railing and Chopper in front of him, having come out from the sickbay just before.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The doctor wrings his hands together, stays silent just enough for Zoro to wonder, to maybe start to react, start to get angry; and then stills, and raises his eyes to meet his patient's, still on the verge of crying, still so hesitant and vulnerable in a way Zoro has never learned to be, but has learned to understand.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"And I know that I can't ask you that, that it's unfair, because- because we're free, because I'm not your captain, only Luffy is, but-" he lowers his head, takes a deep breath- "but Zoro, you can't do that again."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It feels like the silence is never going to end; it feels like Chopper is never going to raise his head again, but then he does, and his voice is sure when he says:</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Zoro, you can't do that, because I'm going to be the best doctor ever, I have to be, but- but I'm not, not yet."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Zoro raises an eyebrow, and stays silent for a moment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>(Chopper's dream used to be, and still is, and will always be, <em>I'll cure every disease.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>But it's been a long time since they've set sail, and Chopper has seen much more now. He's traveled, and made friends, and fought for them; he's killed, he's been pushed to his limits time and time again, has become a monster and realized that even that wouldn't save what he loved. He has watched his crew bleed and bleed and bleed, and never be as far away from death as he'd like.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Zoro's goal has shifted, and if his did, even with the rigid promise it was linked to, why couldn't Chopper's change too?</p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>The best doctor, </em>declares Chopper to the empty air, to Zoro, to the world, a challenge and a promise, another North Star added besides his initial one; and Zoro will never doubt the crewmates of the future Pirate King, so he doesn't say anything.)</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You have to be?" He asks instead.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes." Nods Chopper, still so sure. "For our captain. For our crew. For my friends."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>(Luffy is their sun.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Luffy is- Luffy is their air and their gravity; he brought them together and he leads them and he's the only captain they'll ever follow, the one they'll burn and kill and bend their promises and morals for.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>But they're a crew, too, and their dream shift to accommodate that. That's how it's always been, that's why they risk their lives for each other, that's why they've razed buildings, why one day the world government will cough up ashes as they burn it to the ground because one of them asked them to help her. They're a crew, and they've fought for each other since the beginning, always under Luffy's lead, but always of their own volition, because Luffy wouldn't want a crew that isn't free.)</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"One day," says Chopper, "one day we'll face someone we can't beat, not right away, and it's my job to make sure we can all come back. I can't just cure every disease, not anymore. For him, for us, it's not enough, not anymore."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The tears are gone, and the air is heavy; and Zoro realizes that Chopper's been growing up.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It's not exactly new, and it doesn't change much, not really. Chopper is the doctor of the future Pirate King, and so Zoro's always respected him, always trusted him, always had faith in him. Luffy chose him, and he's Zoro's captain, and that's enough.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>But he was young, even among all of them; had stars in his eyes and tremors in his hands, and Zoro wonders when, exactly, he became so comfortable with the weight on his shoulders.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You could have died, at Thriller Bark. You almost did. I almost wasn't good enough. And after that- when you woke up I could only think of how I was only just good enough to save you, just only good enough to help. Even though I'm the doctor, even though it's my job. And I was so scared, that one of you would die, one day, and that I'd have to announce it to all of you, that I'd have to tell it to Luffy, that he'd realized that he'd chosen wrong-"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He chose you," states Zoro, calmly. "There's no right or wrong, and even if there was he wouldn't care, because he chose you. You're our doctor."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know!" retorts Chopper, his newfound confidence seemingly wavering for a moment. "But Zoro, I almost wasn't good enough, and I realized that- I can't be only just good enough. I can't- I have to do better, right? You realized that so long ago, and I didn't get it, why you trained so hard, why you- why you confronted Luffy about Usopp, back at Water 7, but-"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>(It's been such a long time coming, this conversation, realizes Zoro with a start. He thought it was only about Thriller Bark, about this open secret of his, that Luffy doesn't know care to know yet, because he trusts his swordsman, or because at least he doesn't mind Zoro lying to him, but it isn't- it's about so much.)</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Luffy will die for us," whispers Chopper. "And we'll die for each other, and I can't- I can't let that happen. It's up to me to stop it. That's what it means, to be the doctor." He takes a deep breath, clenches his fists. "I knew that, intellectually, but it was never one of us that got so close to- to <em>dying</em>, and Luffy always looks- invincible, and I-"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He looks down at his feet.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I guess I forgot. I realized, at Enies Lobby, that I had to be better, to be stronger, that I couldn't always rely on you all to fight for me, but it didn't really sink in. Because I'm the doctor, and I'm always hesitating about fighting, I always just do it when it's necessary, and I can't- it's not enough, not anymore. I have to be <em>better. </em>And I knew that, but I didn't want to think about it, but then you almost died. And I almost didn't save you. And I need to be better, because Luffy's going to be Pirate King, and you'll die for him to be, and you can't die, not until you're the best swordsman. We have to- Luffy wants us to fulfill our dreams, and I can't let anyone die before we've all done it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You weren't going to let us die before, Chopper."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, I wasn't," agrees Chopper shakily, "but I didn't know. And now I do, and so before I become better, please, Zoro, you can't do that again, because you almost died, and I almost couldn't to you in time, I <em>slept </em>through it, I- And I'm not Luffy, I can't- order you, or anything, and I'm not doing that, but I <em>am</em> telling you this now. One day I'll be the best doctor, andI'll be sure that I'm going to save you, every time. And until then, you can't do that again."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It's nonsensical, this request, because they both know, that Zoro doesn't have a choice, that he'll do what he feels is right. It's- sort of selfish, maybe, but Zoro isn't exactly planning on selling his life again; he's planning on being strong enough to fight back next time.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It's- an assurance, maybe. Not a promise, but something adjacent to it. <em>I was aiming too low, and now I'm aiming just as high as you; I'm going to catch up, one day, and I'll be worthy of your trust, I'll bring you back every time, but until then, please don't face impossible enemies alone, </em>Chopper is saying, and Zoro can only nod and rediscover why Luffy chose him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'll try, but if I have to, I will," he says, unwilling to be moved. Chopper nods like that's what he expected, and they stand in silence, until the door to the boys' quarters slams open.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It resonates in the night, and they look up.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What are you guys doing?" Says Luffy, ignoring the stairs and instead bounding towards them, stopping just short of the railing and the expanse of dark water that laps at Sunny's sides. He looks like he just woke up, and his eyes are shining in a way that means he was probably going to try to raid the kitchen but saw them and got curious.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Luffy," starts to say Chopper, immediately out of place with his serious tone. He squares his shoulder and takes a deep breath, as Zoro watches, silently, nodding to his captain slightly just in case the boy hadn't understood how important this was yet. But Luffy's eyes are already focused on his doctor, sharp as knives and serious in the way he only is with his crewmates.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>(And it's stupid to say, but Luffy's <em>their</em> captain, and he won't ever listen to someone else in quite the same way he listens to his precious crew.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It's just another reason why they'd do anything for him, really.)</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Luffy," repeats Chopper, solemn. "I'm going to be the best doctor ever, okay? I'll be the best. I have to be."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The sentence lingers in the night air, for a moment.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>And then slowly, Luffy grins wide, standing in front of Chopper with pride in his eyes and a faith that seems unbearable to bear when you're watching from the sidelines, and that burns right through when you're receiving it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Of course you're going to be," Luffy says, equally solemn, but bright, bright, so bright, gratitude and pride and faith all mixing together in his voice. "You're <em>my </em>doctor, after all!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>And the entire night glows gold.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No, I have no idea what that was or what message I wanted to convey. I'm mildly convinced I just stabbed Zoro's character /and/ his relationship with Chopper to death, but who cares, here, have this incoherent and overly solemn fic</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>